After dropping out of high school, Anthony chose to move to Washington State to work with his dad. He was a competent member of a construction team. However It was during this time he experimented with a variety of drugs, discovered the Bible and began the journey of reading it from cover to cover. He became obsessed with everything Biblical or pertaining to the Christian faith. Although some of his ideas appeared strange, I assumed as a ‘newbie’ he was incorrectly taking the passages literally. We had many lively discussions on religious and Bible-based topics. Although many of the topics seemed odd, I humored him as I assumed it was a safe, positive subject for him to contemplate, discuss and debate. Only in hindsight do I realize these discussions were warning signs of more serious thing to come.
In February 2008, Anthony’s mental state had deteriorated significantly. He was living in Wisconsin at the time with his grandparents when I received a call indicating he had not eaten in a week, was uncommunicative, and in a nearly catatonic state. I was shocked as no one had shared the depressive state that had led up to this condition. What followed was a two-week stay in a psychiatric hospital as we fought to bring him back and stabilize his thinking and actions. The diagnosis: psychotic episode w/no known cause. Medication was prescribed and he was sent home with me to San Diego for further evaluation, diagnosis and treatment.
Progress was made over the next three to four months as various psychiatrists were contacted. Assorted medications were evaluated and he engaged in therapy. However, side effects were so ‘painful’ that Anthony chose to stop taking the medication initially prescribed. Emergency visits to his doctor produced an agreement to try another medication.
In addition, a very restrictive, dual-diagnosis facility was located in Ramona, California. Anthony spent approximately two months at Pemarro before running away and refusing to return. A new, much less restrictive facility was located in La Jolla, California. He spent a month at Reunion House but made poor choices in an environment that allowed him too many options and complete freedom.
He again quit taking his medication and was allowed to try yet another medication. This was perhaps the least effective medication and produced the most negative hallucinogenic side affects. I was forced to take Anthony to the emergency room where he was admitted on a 72 hour hold (after initially fleeing the hospital and being picked up by the local police) and then offered the opportunity to participate in a voluntary, in-patient research study related to a new medication to treat schizophrenia. This required him to quit taking his current medication in preparation for the new “study” drug. With minimal medication in his system, Anthony again chose the path of least resistance and decided to check himself out of the study and therefore, the hospital. He was then given appropriate medication and released once “stabilized”.
In February 2009, we were once again back to the beginning…working with the psychiatrist and attempting to evaluate medication. Anti-psychotic meds and antidepressants were prescribed in various doses. During this time the religious conversations and/or debates began to accelerate. According to Anthony, ‘Eden’ was to be coming (it was imminent) and it would be similar to a popular video game, Everquest. He had seen it forecast in the Bible. During the next months, the messages from the Bible and the interworkings of various video games intertwined in Anthony’s thoughts and conversations.
I took Anthony to live with me in a slightly remote location in Spring Valley, California. I reduced my job from full-time to part-time to be more available for Anthony. While attempting to adjust medication with the help of the medical staff at UCSD Outpatient Psychiatric facility, I looked for social programs and groups for Anthony to join. Very few options existed but he participated in those we found. I spent more and more time with Anthony attempting to talk with him logically and rationally. Often our conversations were interesting and full of ongoing debate as I attempted to understand the thoughts and ideas inside his mind. In our discussions I simply wanted something to eventually “click” and have him understand what to me is ‘rational thought’. Each time we talked I pushed until I felt the situation required me to stop. He would get frustrated and say he didn’t want to talk about it anymore…usually indicating he was tired and head to his bed. I’d back off and allow him his space.
On October 2nd, we had gone to see a movie and out to dinner. We had discussed what we liked and disliked about the movie, the dinner, etc. As usual, our discussion moved to intense talk of Biblical matters and I continued to push. Although I do not remember the following chain of events, Anthony indicated to me later that because of our conversation he ‘knew’ I was the Antichrist — in direct opposition to Christ’s teachings – and I was tormenting him and causing “extreme pain”. He “knew” he had to kill the Antichrist…it was his duty as he was protecting Christ’s teachings and who he knew himself to be.
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